So in one of my previous posts, I explained how I had been managing perfectly well to balance my time between work, study and play… well that was all before I had started my current module ‘Foundations of Computation’. This module is as intimidating as it sounds and contains concepts that I have found so difficult to get my head around that I have had to break some of my own advice of not working past 9 pm and allowing for a day of rest, quite a few times.

I would be lying if I said the last couple of weeks hadn’t been tough mentally. Alongside a move to another country, busy periods at work, trying to juggle frequent deadlines and a coding assignment that has caused many-a-breakdowns, I have definitely been left asking myself ‘why am I doing this?’ more than a few times in the past few weeks.

Another element I have been battling with is comparison. Comparison with my classmates, and how they all seemed to be completing tasks and speeding ahead- and me feeling left behind, still stuck in understanding the basic concepts. Then the subsequent feelings creep in, telling myself that I’m way out of my depth and that I must not have the right sort of brain for this kind of stuff, and I’m left feeling like an imposter that doesn’t belong.  

After coming out the other end of this and thinking back, there have definitely been some positive moments. That ‘eureka!’ moment when you finally see your code is running how it’s meant to be after 2 weeks of thinking of nothing else, the help and support from my fellow classmates, and also knowing that when I really wanted to quit I somehow managed to push ahead. Reflecting back and feeling proud about those small victories is definitely something that can help you through a lot of tough times; it also enables you to see that all of the time spent struggling was worth it in the end.

There aren’t really any tips or valuable bits of insight in this post, but I thought I would share anyway. So at least if other people were feeling the same way- they would know they’re not alone.  However, if I do have one piece of advice it would be this: sometimes things are hard and you just have to go through them to get out of them. You just have to know that there will be light at the end of the tunnel, and you will come out the other end stronger and better than before.